St Paddy’s: St. Patty’s Day: A Brief Guide to A Classy, Sans Plastic Day

So it's coming up St. Patrick's day once more, and I'm sure the question on everybody's  mind is, “I don't want actual Irish people to mock me, so how do I celebrate with this day without plastic stuff. Also I have too much money, so how do I celebrate in the style that I have become accustomed to?”

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“Oh I say, Erin go bragh.”

As for the first: I have no idea. They've been settled for centuries and we're a nation of immigrants. They don't get that it's a catalog of history as much, so we'll just have to ignore their mocking and keep on rocking. As for the rest, I have no idea since I'm really not that upper class or even that middle class. All I can do is take a stab at stuff that looks out of my price range.

So let's do this.

 Instead of this:


You could have this:


Celtic Dragon Beer Mug by CHISCHILLY POTTERY

Look at that! This says you take drinking seriously, and are a total badass. Also can you imagine having enough money to have whole party full of this stuff? I can't.

Instead of Green Beer:



 You could have literally anything else.


But in particular, Celtic Red by Harpoon Brewery

Seriously, when I drink (which is rare) I drink moscato wine, and cocktails, because I really don't like beer. But even I know, you don't drink the green stuff unless you are just thick to begin with. People do not color good beer green since you are  only buying it for the novelty. Novelty rarely means good.

Instead of a plastic shamrock anything:

You could have these:


Charmed by RavynEdge

I love this. Also I wish I had as nice nails at the handmodel.

You could have this from Avon:


It's a nice nickel-free ring, not as nice as last years (I'm rocking that y'all) but still pretty nice. I'm also impressed Avon knows the difference between a shamrock and a four leaf clover; that's really not something I expect of them. You can buy it from your local Avon rep or support me by shopping from here:


Or this if you want to acknowledge the day's colors without bowing to the form:



Instead of this:


Found Everywhere


You could have this:


Deluxe Felt Derby sold by Gentleman's Emporium. Incidentally,  if there are any kickbacks from this  promotion I hope they come in the form of a vest or a riding skirt.

This might be the one time of year that you can wear a bowler hat without being thought a hipster. You should use the time well.

Other than these all you need do relax, enjoy, and turn up the music. Or depending on your class, order the band to play louder on pain of pain. We certainly have plenty of reviews to help you chose music (or bands) to enjoy.


Gail Rybak is an occasional writer, artist, photographer, Avon Lady, and she helps run Amelia’s Heirlooms. She is also a full-time geek and cat owner, and enjoys writing for Celtic Music Magazine. She will hopefully (assuming she can remember her password) be writing on her personal blog Machinations of a Robothobbit.  Fame and fortune has eluded her so far, but she has many fine hats.

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